Why I suck as a bicycle racer

Ok, the first reason I suck as a bike racer is that I haven't raced this year, or frequently in years prior. In fact, I've never raced much. I really want to, but I don't. So the real question is why don't I? Part of it is that I don't train enough, part of it is that I haven't made time to race. Even with my limited training, I know I am in better shape right now than I have been in for quite some time.

But what is the real reason, I ask? I think it is that there are just things I enjoy doing more than racing or even riding my bike. As much as I long to be on my bike some weekends when I am doing other things, in the end, I do consider some activities more important than just getting up and going riding (as much as I love doing so). If you give me the choice of a nice 3 hour solo ride or 3 hours playing with the boys, even knowing that at least 1 hour of that is going to include crying by one or all of us, I'll normally take the 3 hours with the boys.

I also don't often do evening group rides (though I have & plan to soon). The two main reasons are 1) that I am tired in the evening; and 2) evening group ride means less time with boys, even when they are screaming & crying. It also means more stress for the wife, which I also don't want to cause.

The final reason I haven't even done the training races this year is sort of silly to many -- I don't want to pay for it. I don't want to pay for my license so I can be pack fodder. Which means I need to train harder to justify the expense, which means finding the time to do so. Which means I should get off the damn computer.